The Absence of Action

Believe it or not, report writing should be action oriented and even energized. Those terms sound more appropriate to superheroes than written reports, but the statement is true nonetheless. There is nothing less inviting to a reader than a passage of text that does nothing. If you don’t believe this, then consider an experience that you would normally associate with action and energy. Let’s take professional sports, for example. Here is a simple play-by-play description:

Zidane runs up the field with the ball and passes it to Henry. Henry leaps up and pops the ball high into the air toward the net. The goalkeeper is running for it, but I don’t think he’ll get it. Oh no, Ribery redirects the ball with a back-kick over the goalkeeper. It’s heading for the corner! Malouda heads it the other way. He scores!

Now what would happen if you took the action out of that experience by imposing a institutional style? Here is the result:

A run up the field is taking place on the part of Zidane, who provides a pass to Henry. Henry succeeds in delivering the ball by a leap and a pop high into the air toward the net. The goalkeeper is carrying out a run at the ball, but it is considered that his reception of it will not occur. Oh no, a back-kick delivered by Ribery enables a redirection of the ball over the goalkeeper. The ball is being projected toward the corner. A header is carried out by Malouda, effecting a change in the direction of the ball. A goal is scored!

It’s not quite the same, is it? The difference is all in the action. There are two main elements of institutional style in this example—noun-based writing and the overuse of the passive voice. Both contribute to the lack of action in the sentences.