Unnecessary Words

Aside from using weak, passive verbs, institutional writing typically suffocates its message with too many words. To avoid this pitfall, look for unnecessary words as one important step in your revising process. Professional editors recognize several patterns of wordiness, including the following:

• Words that say the same thing, such as clear and transparent, safe and secure, provide and deliver, will in future. Sometimes these are known as multiple modifiers.
• Descriptions that are so obvious as to be meaningless, such as detailed programs, safe health standards, high-quality modules. (Think of the opposite of these words. Do you think that anyone would develop unsafe health standards or low-quality modules?)
• Filler words and phrases, such as those that are intended to be carried out, very, essentially.

Applying these patterns, which of the words in the following paragraph should you eliminate? Do you know why?

This specific sector represents a clear “picture of the future” and encompasses all the noted and major challenges that Indian agriculture faces in a world where food patterns are changing because of increasing incomes and wealth; delivery schedules are more demanding with the recent emergence of supermarkets; and barriers and challenges to trade such as tariffs and subsidies are less important than the challenges posed by incredibly high and stringent sanitary standards.

Your response:

Did you recognize the patterns of wordiness? The activity on the next page gives you more practice.